Thank You

I write this poem of thanks to you,
My long lost love, which never was.
You never knew you owned my heart,
Or that the memory of your kiss still does.
I never told you how I felt,
So sure my feelings you did not share.
I held it in, and stayed your friend,
Your rejection I could not bare.
I closed my heart, and blocked my mind,
All entry of others I'd have to deny.
I could stand no more pain, no joy I'd allow,
I chose the sidelines of life- watch it float by.
I played the game,
And played it well.
My love for you,
I'd never tell.
I tried so hard to push you,
Into my deepest foggy mist.
For so many years I succeeded,
You were reduced to a long ago wish.
But now my mind has betrayed me,
It let you out of your secret place.
These emotions threaten to drown me,
So many demons I must face.
Your laughter how it haunts me,
Your eyes, they fill my dreams.
The remembrance of your lips so sweet,
Is so real I want to scream.
But now the colors are somehow brighter,
The melodies more clear.
The demons are not so alarming,
I face them now without fear.
You may wonder why I thank you,
When without knowing, you caused so much pain.
Remembering you- unlocked my heart,
I have chosen to live again.

~Jacqueline A. Wittek-Maxson